New Year, New Routines

Had a pretty good New Year's Day.  Family day spent Bowling, Book Shopping and Dinner together at the dining room table.  We all agreed that eating dinner together without the TV on and the candles lit was fun.  So from now on that is how we will dine.  We also talked as a family about needing to eat healthier this year and making sure we are all moving throughout the day.  Austin's weight has been continuing to creep up with this new medication and we are concerned about his blood sugar levels, normally with his anxiety we don't fill him in on everything but this time we had to because he is so picky about the foods he will eat that we are going to have to limit his carbs, sugars and encourage more healthy grains and veggies.  He didn't take the news very well (pretty full on meltdown)* but after we agreed to do this together he was actually somewhat excited.  He and Jimmy now have joined a gym together and we are using the Wii fit and Kinect to get all of us up and moving.  Let me just say that it is a good thing no one can see me doing Just Dance 3. LOL.  We had fun cleaning out the freezer and pantry of all the holiday goody leftovers and making out our 2 week menu. 

So to recap we danced, bowled, shopped... hey that burns calories too and it was for books so educational, and ate dinner together as a family.  We had a lot to choose to write about in our grateful journals we just started.  I think this was a good start to our 2012.  Out with the old and in with the new.
Happy New Year Everyone!

* I thought I should give you a description of what a meltdown of Austin's usually looks like.  Generally it starts off with grunting and groaning, then he will start yelling and sometimes thrashing about.  If we are at home I request he goes to his room, sometimes he needs assistance getting there.  Once there he continues on for a few minutes and when I notice that he is quieting down (just a few minutes later) I go into his room shut off the light and use his special cube hugging chair to give him deep pressure.  At this point he usually is crying and then he quiets. 
If you could imagine how much help a Autism Service Dog could help avoid these situations and calm him quickly as well as provide the pressure he needs when he needs it.  After all I am not always with him and the dog would be. 

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Merry Christmas Everyone.  I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and that you got to spend time with your family and friends.

I had a rough Christmas this year.  Austins takes less and less pleasure in spending time with the whole family.  As I have mentioned in the past Austin can not handle the noise and chaos the season brings.  It really hit home for me this year.  The enjoyment of watching the family open their gifts we had picked out for them was lacking because I could only think of how Austin was missing out on the laughter and smiles while they opened them.  Don't get me wrong I realize he doesn't miss it and that he wasn't affected by that, but that is exactly what hit me.  He ate his Christmas meal alone in the spare room and spent his time in the Motor Home that my parents had heated up for him for a quiet area.  God bless them for that, but I missed him.  It was one of the times that I mourn the loss of the dreams I had for him when he was born.  Most of the time I am able to accept that and be thankful it isn't worse, but as a Mom I want my son to be truly happy.  I get a glimmer of that happiness from him once in awhile but is not the same as seeing my daughter's look of joy so frequently.

Part of me is already prepping myself for next year figuring out what I can do differently, do we need to skip the family gathering?  I think that once our service dog gets here it will make a huge difference in these situations but until then it's easier just to skip it.  We already changed our New Year's tradition of gathering with everyone to just us at home with just Austin's godparents and daughter.  Again it's easier then the stress of what would happen otherwise, I just can't seem to relax in these situations.  And he is miserable and that is not fair to either of us. 

I share this with not to just complain or have you feel sorry for us, but to explain why it is so important for us that Austin receive his miracle and get an Autism Service Dog.  We are at about $3800 raised so far but we have a ways to go.  Please share this blog with others and keep praying for us.  We are planning a Raffle and will keep you posted.  Thanks Again.

Holly

Tugs at the Heartstrings.

Well we had a great first Fundraising Event this last Tuesday, it was our Christmas Sing-a-Long at our Church, we raised over $700.  So thankful.  Our family was there as well as many of our friends.  We sang several carols and laughed together with the band.  This time of year is so moving with the meaning of Christmas, and even more so this year for our family.  Every year I take a lot of joy in choosing gifts for the ones I love, letting others give to you is more difficult especially in these times.  I truly hope that everyone realizes how much we appreciate your generosity.  It isn't easy for us to admit that we can not just get something that our child needs.  But we do know that God is showing us how blessed we are to have so many caring and loving people in our lives who help lift us up when we are down.  We hope one day to "Pay it Forward".  So Thank You and God Bless.

Joyful Moments

I wanted to share a few happy moments from today with Austin.  It is so easy to always focus on what we are trying to do for him with school and with fundraising for his service dog that we forget to enjoy the more simple moments.  Today I started watching my Cousin's little boy who is 22 months old.  Normally he is surrounded by girls and women no boys.  He followed Austin around everywhere.  I thought that this might bother Austin, but instead Austin seemed to embrace it, as much as he can anyway.  One of my favorite moments was watching them play with blocks, Austin would build it and then Ethan would knock it down and they would both laugh and laugh.  It was a beautiful thing to see.  When we picked Austin up after school instead of getting in the front seat with me he jumped in back so that he could sit next to Ethan.  It makes me smile just thinking about it.  It was a great day.  I am sitting here counting my blessings and you are among them.  So far we have raised $2200 towards Austin's Autism Service Dog!  Thank You.

Frustrating IEP Meeting

So we had what we thought was a follow up from our last meeting to see what they thought after talking to one of Austin's Dr.'s and doing a another evaluation.  Of course that is not how it started...it started the exact same way all of the meetings go it's like we are living in the movie Groundhog Day except instead of Bill Murray learning a life lesson we are just banging our heads against a wall waiting for them to wake up.  After 20 minutes I spoke and voiced my opinion that this was a rerun and I thought that as discussed previously at the last meeting we were supposed to be going over this new information?  The problem was of course they had not contacted his Dr. yet or compiled the needed data to decide on evaluation, not only that but they keep insisting that this is a behavioral issue and that they feel Austin plays the "Autism Card".  Excuse Me?  I think that if I hadn't mentally counted to 10 someone might have had hold me back.  They simply just do not get it.  Our child is not choosing to live this life, it is the life God gave him and us and we certainly do not think for one minute that Austin wants to have meltdowns or anxiety issues along with sensory overload.  Who would?  If I felt like everything was coming at me at once I would leave the classroom too and break down.  At this point we all agreed that we would not hold another meeting until the items that were discussed a month ago were followed through with and that we will meet again after the evaluation is done.  They have 35 school days to complete this.  God Bless our Advocate Larry he is really keeping them on task now and is able to point more of this out.  Meanwhile as Larry describes it, Austin is just floating in school, he does have the ability to excel and swim laps but right now they are just giving him water wings.  Pray with us that one day soon someone will actually help him learn how to do the breast stroke.  Thank you.

Need a Vacation after our Vacation

Well, as you may have noticed I have not posted in awhile.  We were on vacation with Austin's grandparents.  Wish I could say it was an awesome break away from real life...the thing about real life is that it follows wherever you go.  We did have wonderful moments that created forever memories which we will treasure, but that was among the meltdowns and sensory overloads.  Thankfully we were somewhat prepared with his noise canceling headphones and his favorite games.  It's funny I never would have imagined that I would need to be sure and pack my 13 year old son's favorite pillow with us in order for him to sleep, or the he wouldn't want to be in the "cool" pool with the water slide but rather in the quiet pool.  Although even I appreciated that part!!  Our 10 year old daughter was amazing she did not get upset about the breaks that were needed or the fact that he would want to eat the same foods everyday.  We did really enjoy watching both of their faces when we ate at a Japanese restaurant where they prepare the food on the grill in front of you!  That was fun!!  After the long 10 days I was not only ready for my own bed to sleep in but a vacation from our vacation.  Maybe one of the days Jimmy and I will plan an adult only get away.  But for now it's back to reality and preparing for the Holiday season.   Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, we are very thankful for all of you. 

Emotionally Drained

Well our meeting today with Austin's IEP team went over by an hour, although that was needed.  So thankful for our advocate Larry Davis.  He was able to put into words what we have been trying to say for a long time.  Austin is not thriving in this school setting and it needs to be reevaluated.  No matter how much I try to keep the tears back I can't seem to hold them in during these meetings.  I just want to say to the team, if this was your child what would you be doing?  We want what is best for our son and that may not be in this school.  Don't get me wrong they are trying and they have tried but it isn't working for him.  Our daughter will be there next year and for her the school will be great.  For Austin it is like walking into a combat zone, he can't block out all of the sensory inputs and concentrate on his work.  I think that they are finally starting to see this.  Very small baby steps forward.  We have another meeting on the 1st of December to discuss evaluation options and what needs to be done for Austin.  I am praying that we can all come together to find a fit for him so that he can start being proud of himself again.