Ghosts of Christmas Past

Merry Christmas Everyone.  I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and that you got to spend time with your family and friends.

I had a rough Christmas this year.  Austins takes less and less pleasure in spending time with the whole family.  As I have mentioned in the past Austin can not handle the noise and chaos the season brings.  It really hit home for me this year.  The enjoyment of watching the family open their gifts we had picked out for them was lacking because I could only think of how Austin was missing out on the laughter and smiles while they opened them.  Don't get me wrong I realize he doesn't miss it and that he wasn't affected by that, but that is exactly what hit me.  He ate his Christmas meal alone in the spare room and spent his time in the Motor Home that my parents had heated up for him for a quiet area.  God bless them for that, but I missed him.  It was one of the times that I mourn the loss of the dreams I had for him when he was born.  Most of the time I am able to accept that and be thankful it isn't worse, but as a Mom I want my son to be truly happy.  I get a glimmer of that happiness from him once in awhile but is not the same as seeing my daughter's look of joy so frequently.

Part of me is already prepping myself for next year figuring out what I can do differently, do we need to skip the family gathering?  I think that once our service dog gets here it will make a huge difference in these situations but until then it's easier just to skip it.  We already changed our New Year's tradition of gathering with everyone to just us at home with just Austin's godparents and daughter.  Again it's easier then the stress of what would happen otherwise, I just can't seem to relax in these situations.  And he is miserable and that is not fair to either of us. 

I share this with not to just complain or have you feel sorry for us, but to explain why it is so important for us that Austin receive his miracle and get an Autism Service Dog.  We are at about $3800 raised so far but we have a ways to go.  Please share this blog with others and keep praying for us.  We are planning a Raffle and will keep you posted.  Thanks Again.

Holly

Tugs at the Heartstrings.

Well we had a great first Fundraising Event this last Tuesday, it was our Christmas Sing-a-Long at our Church, we raised over $700.  So thankful.  Our family was there as well as many of our friends.  We sang several carols and laughed together with the band.  This time of year is so moving with the meaning of Christmas, and even more so this year for our family.  Every year I take a lot of joy in choosing gifts for the ones I love, letting others give to you is more difficult especially in these times.  I truly hope that everyone realizes how much we appreciate your generosity.  It isn't easy for us to admit that we can not just get something that our child needs.  But we do know that God is showing us how blessed we are to have so many caring and loving people in our lives who help lift us up when we are down.  We hope one day to "Pay it Forward".  So Thank You and God Bless.

Joyful Moments

I wanted to share a few happy moments from today with Austin.  It is so easy to always focus on what we are trying to do for him with school and with fundraising for his service dog that we forget to enjoy the more simple moments.  Today I started watching my Cousin's little boy who is 22 months old.  Normally he is surrounded by girls and women no boys.  He followed Austin around everywhere.  I thought that this might bother Austin, but instead Austin seemed to embrace it, as much as he can anyway.  One of my favorite moments was watching them play with blocks, Austin would build it and then Ethan would knock it down and they would both laugh and laugh.  It was a beautiful thing to see.  When we picked Austin up after school instead of getting in the front seat with me he jumped in back so that he could sit next to Ethan.  It makes me smile just thinking about it.  It was a great day.  I am sitting here counting my blessings and you are among them.  So far we have raised $2200 towards Austin's Autism Service Dog!  Thank You.

Frustrating IEP Meeting

So we had what we thought was a follow up from our last meeting to see what they thought after talking to one of Austin's Dr.'s and doing a another evaluation.  Of course that is not how it started...it started the exact same way all of the meetings go it's like we are living in the movie Groundhog Day except instead of Bill Murray learning a life lesson we are just banging our heads against a wall waiting for them to wake up.  After 20 minutes I spoke and voiced my opinion that this was a rerun and I thought that as discussed previously at the last meeting we were supposed to be going over this new information?  The problem was of course they had not contacted his Dr. yet or compiled the needed data to decide on evaluation, not only that but they keep insisting that this is a behavioral issue and that they feel Austin plays the "Autism Card".  Excuse Me?  I think that if I hadn't mentally counted to 10 someone might have had hold me back.  They simply just do not get it.  Our child is not choosing to live this life, it is the life God gave him and us and we certainly do not think for one minute that Austin wants to have meltdowns or anxiety issues along with sensory overload.  Who would?  If I felt like everything was coming at me at once I would leave the classroom too and break down.  At this point we all agreed that we would not hold another meeting until the items that were discussed a month ago were followed through with and that we will meet again after the evaluation is done.  They have 35 school days to complete this.  God Bless our Advocate Larry he is really keeping them on task now and is able to point more of this out.  Meanwhile as Larry describes it, Austin is just floating in school, he does have the ability to excel and swim laps but right now they are just giving him water wings.  Pray with us that one day soon someone will actually help him learn how to do the breast stroke.  Thank you.