Ghosts of Christmas Past

Merry Christmas Everyone.  I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and that you got to spend time with your family and friends.

I had a rough Christmas this year.  Austins takes less and less pleasure in spending time with the whole family.  As I have mentioned in the past Austin can not handle the noise and chaos the season brings.  It really hit home for me this year.  The enjoyment of watching the family open their gifts we had picked out for them was lacking because I could only think of how Austin was missing out on the laughter and smiles while they opened them.  Don't get me wrong I realize he doesn't miss it and that he wasn't affected by that, but that is exactly what hit me.  He ate his Christmas meal alone in the spare room and spent his time in the Motor Home that my parents had heated up for him for a quiet area.  God bless them for that, but I missed him.  It was one of the times that I mourn the loss of the dreams I had for him when he was born.  Most of the time I am able to accept that and be thankful it isn't worse, but as a Mom I want my son to be truly happy.  I get a glimmer of that happiness from him once in awhile but is not the same as seeing my daughter's look of joy so frequently.

Part of me is already prepping myself for next year figuring out what I can do differently, do we need to skip the family gathering?  I think that once our service dog gets here it will make a huge difference in these situations but until then it's easier just to skip it.  We already changed our New Year's tradition of gathering with everyone to just us at home with just Austin's godparents and daughter.  Again it's easier then the stress of what would happen otherwise, I just can't seem to relax in these situations.  And he is miserable and that is not fair to either of us. 

I share this with not to just complain or have you feel sorry for us, but to explain why it is so important for us that Austin receive his miracle and get an Autism Service Dog.  We are at about $3800 raised so far but we have a ways to go.  Please share this blog with others and keep praying for us.  We are planning a Raffle and will keep you posted.  Thanks Again.

Holly

Tugs at the Heartstrings.

Well we had a great first Fundraising Event this last Tuesday, it was our Christmas Sing-a-Long at our Church, we raised over $700.  So thankful.  Our family was there as well as many of our friends.  We sang several carols and laughed together with the band.  This time of year is so moving with the meaning of Christmas, and even more so this year for our family.  Every year I take a lot of joy in choosing gifts for the ones I love, letting others give to you is more difficult especially in these times.  I truly hope that everyone realizes how much we appreciate your generosity.  It isn't easy for us to admit that we can not just get something that our child needs.  But we do know that God is showing us how blessed we are to have so many caring and loving people in our lives who help lift us up when we are down.  We hope one day to "Pay it Forward".  So Thank You and God Bless.

Joyful Moments

I wanted to share a few happy moments from today with Austin.  It is so easy to always focus on what we are trying to do for him with school and with fundraising for his service dog that we forget to enjoy the more simple moments.  Today I started watching my Cousin's little boy who is 22 months old.  Normally he is surrounded by girls and women no boys.  He followed Austin around everywhere.  I thought that this might bother Austin, but instead Austin seemed to embrace it, as much as he can anyway.  One of my favorite moments was watching them play with blocks, Austin would build it and then Ethan would knock it down and they would both laugh and laugh.  It was a beautiful thing to see.  When we picked Austin up after school instead of getting in the front seat with me he jumped in back so that he could sit next to Ethan.  It makes me smile just thinking about it.  It was a great day.  I am sitting here counting my blessings and you are among them.  So far we have raised $2200 towards Austin's Autism Service Dog!  Thank You.

Frustrating IEP Meeting

So we had what we thought was a follow up from our last meeting to see what they thought after talking to one of Austin's Dr.'s and doing a another evaluation.  Of course that is not how it started...it started the exact same way all of the meetings go it's like we are living in the movie Groundhog Day except instead of Bill Murray learning a life lesson we are just banging our heads against a wall waiting for them to wake up.  After 20 minutes I spoke and voiced my opinion that this was a rerun and I thought that as discussed previously at the last meeting we were supposed to be going over this new information?  The problem was of course they had not contacted his Dr. yet or compiled the needed data to decide on evaluation, not only that but they keep insisting that this is a behavioral issue and that they feel Austin plays the "Autism Card".  Excuse Me?  I think that if I hadn't mentally counted to 10 someone might have had hold me back.  They simply just do not get it.  Our child is not choosing to live this life, it is the life God gave him and us and we certainly do not think for one minute that Austin wants to have meltdowns or anxiety issues along with sensory overload.  Who would?  If I felt like everything was coming at me at once I would leave the classroom too and break down.  At this point we all agreed that we would not hold another meeting until the items that were discussed a month ago were followed through with and that we will meet again after the evaluation is done.  They have 35 school days to complete this.  God Bless our Advocate Larry he is really keeping them on task now and is able to point more of this out.  Meanwhile as Larry describes it, Austin is just floating in school, he does have the ability to excel and swim laps but right now they are just giving him water wings.  Pray with us that one day soon someone will actually help him learn how to do the breast stroke.  Thank you.

Need a Vacation after our Vacation

Well, as you may have noticed I have not posted in awhile.  We were on vacation with Austin's grandparents.  Wish I could say it was an awesome break away from real life...the thing about real life is that it follows wherever you go.  We did have wonderful moments that created forever memories which we will treasure, but that was among the meltdowns and sensory overloads.  Thankfully we were somewhat prepared with his noise canceling headphones and his favorite games.  It's funny I never would have imagined that I would need to be sure and pack my 13 year old son's favorite pillow with us in order for him to sleep, or the he wouldn't want to be in the "cool" pool with the water slide but rather in the quiet pool.  Although even I appreciated that part!!  Our 10 year old daughter was amazing she did not get upset about the breaks that were needed or the fact that he would want to eat the same foods everyday.  We did really enjoy watching both of their faces when we ate at a Japanese restaurant where they prepare the food on the grill in front of you!  That was fun!!  After the long 10 days I was not only ready for my own bed to sleep in but a vacation from our vacation.  Maybe one of the days Jimmy and I will plan an adult only get away.  But for now it's back to reality and preparing for the Holiday season.   Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, we are very thankful for all of you. 

Emotionally Drained

Well our meeting today with Austin's IEP team went over by an hour, although that was needed.  So thankful for our advocate Larry Davis.  He was able to put into words what we have been trying to say for a long time.  Austin is not thriving in this school setting and it needs to be reevaluated.  No matter how much I try to keep the tears back I can't seem to hold them in during these meetings.  I just want to say to the team, if this was your child what would you be doing?  We want what is best for our son and that may not be in this school.  Don't get me wrong they are trying and they have tried but it isn't working for him.  Our daughter will be there next year and for her the school will be great.  For Austin it is like walking into a combat zone, he can't block out all of the sensory inputs and concentrate on his work.  I think that they are finally starting to see this.  Very small baby steps forward.  We have another meeting on the 1st of December to discuss evaluation options and what needs to be done for Austin.  I am praying that we can all come together to find a fit for him so that he can start being proud of himself again. 

IEP Meeting at the School Tomorrow

Well, I am sitting here typing this and praying at the same time that my stomach settles down.  Every time we have a meeting with the team at Austin's school my stomach is in knots until it's over.  This time especially.  I am not sure what to expect, I do know that our advocate that we hired will not be there in person but will be on conference call with us.  I can't explain what a relief it is having someone else on your side that truly understands what Austin's specific needs at school are.  He has so many different things to factor in, Asperger's, ADHD, Anxiety and his learning disability that it is very difficult for the school to accommodate all of his needs.  We understand this but also know that we have to make sure he is getting the education that he deserves.  I will be sure to post tomorrow to let you all know how it went.

Pray for us.

Medicine causing side effects

Well yesterday at Austin's appointment we found out that he has gained 10 pounds in 2 months...not good news and we are concerned that this could potentially go into diabetes.  But we know that taking him off of the medicine that is increasing his appetite is not an option, we tried that and it did not go well.  Major meltdowns and mood swings.  So our only options are to force exercise and most likely he will have to take another med that will help with controlling the insulin concern.  I hate having him on so many medications!  He also needs another blood draw to make sure he isn't diabetic already.  These are never easy for kids let lone ones with major sensory issues and anxiety.  Hopefully I will be brave enough for both of us.  Please send positive thoughts our way.  Thanks.

Full Time Job

Being Austin's Mom is a full time job, and sometimes I feel like I should be fired lol.  Take today for instance.  I have been so focused on the fundraising for the service dog this last week that I have forgotten to check online to see his grades at school etc.  Well that was a big whoops, he is failing 3 classes.  I am not quite sure how that happened seeing as no one has let us know this was happening.  So I have been emailing his advocate and his IEP team all day scheduling a meeting.  We will be meeting Thursday afternoon to discuss the many changes that were supposed to take place at school for Austin, see what is working and what is not working.  How to make school a more successful place for him.  Meanwhile I am planning the Holiday Sing a Long fundraiser at our church.  We also have an appointment with Dr. Kwon today to follow up on Austin's meds to see how they are working and get refills. 

I work 7 days a week and I am on call 24 hours a day.  I even work holidays!  It might sound to you like I am complaining but really I am just trying to open the world's eyes to what it is like to be a parent of a child with special needs.  I have to fight hard to keep a good relationship with my daughter Grace too,  enjoying the role of assistant leader for her Girl Scout troop and getting to take her to her piano lessons each week and listen to her amazing talent as she learns. ( she has something I never had when I tried to learn piano, a good ear!) 

At the end of the day I would not change a thing about my family.  I am blessed to have married my best friend, and God gave us 2 wonderfully unique children.  I love them with all of my heart.

So as a right now we are not hiring and hopefully we never will. ;o)

Changing Back the Clock

Setting the clocks back an hour sticks.  Throws off our entire week.  I am already not a morning person, by the way neither is Austin and this just makes it worse.  Adjusting for the next week or so will be trying.  I hope you all had a great weekend and that continues into the week ahead.

Great Day!

Austin had an AWESOME day today!!  It is the 1st day in a very long time with not a single meltdown, even at school.  We celebrated with his favorite Domino's Pizza and then some DQ for dessert. 

Not only that but today our story was published in the local Auburn Reporter that comes out tomorrow and the story can also be seen online!!  We are spreading the word about our fundraising efforts and slowly getting closer to our goal.  Here is a link to the article so you can read it.

http://www.auburn-reporter.com/community/133122863.html

 

Stop Flipping the Switch

Ever feel like some people work on a light switch?  That is how I feel sometimes with Austin.  He can be happily playing and then the next thing you know he is in a full meltdown.  Of course what makes it even more difficult is that he doesn't have the skills needed to tell you exactly what is wrong.  It can take either a few minutes of deep pressure or he may need the full treatment, that is what I think of it as.  Meaning I turn off the lights in the room, make sure it's quiet and then the deep pressure.  Then if it was a short episode he can "switch" back to a good mood, or if it was a full one he usually is tired and wiped out.  All of this of course takes place at any time, for instance tonight we were hoping to run a few errands, when this occurs we have to change our plans to fit for Austin.  At these times I just want to say will someone please stop flipping the switch.

One of our many blessings with Austin is that he does love hugs, it's a great form of the deep pressure he craves and gives the best hugs ever.  He even likes hugs from his sister, she gives them to him when he needs them but other than that it's yuck. Lol.  Tonight she even helped with his deep pressure.  Grace is awesome with him.

Keep sharing!

Halloween Tricks and Treats.

A good example of how different it is to be a child with Autism or Asperger's would be the beginning of the Holiday Season.  When you were a child don't you remember being so excited about the holidays and looking forward to picking out your costume for Halloween and all the candy you can get?  For Austin it means too much noise, people, change in routine.  For example this morning Austin did not want to go to school, it was a very difficult morning but thankfully he did go and had an okay day while there.  He came home and had a decent afternoon, of course he didn't go trick or treating but he did hand out some candy, yea.  Then as soon as the evening winded down we went into meltdown from the change of routine and it took 30 minutes to calm him down and then 15 to get him to bed.  All of this of course is happening while our daughter Grace is trying to finish out her Happy Halloween with a smile.  Sometimes I wish I were able to split myself in two to be able to be there to comfort her when Austin is in the middle of a meltdown and of course be able to give him his deep pressure at the same time.  My heart hurts for both of them at times like those.  It is now almost 10pm and I am happy to say both are asleep and I am sipping my tea, waiting for sleep too.  Maybe next Holiday Season will be different and there will be someone by Austin's side at all times making it just a bit easier to deal with all the changes and challenges that they bring for him.  Thank you to everyone that is helping to make that a possibility.

Had a fun family night tonight.  Carved our pumpkins and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas.  Austin even joined, which was a gift.  Normally these are the kind of things that he wouldn't choose to do with us.  Made us smile.  I will try to post some picture later.  Right now on Makeover Home Edition they are giving a family with 2 high functioning Autism boys a new house.  It is so fun to watch this families dream coming true.  Hope you all are having a great Friday night.

Our Address

Wanted to post our address as it has been brought to our attention that some people would like to mail their donations instead on donating online.
c/o Holly Andrew
29859 113th Way SE
Auburn WA, 98092

Thank you so much for your support.

Feeling very blessed tonight!  It's only been 1 day and we have raised over $600 and had a donation of a collection of comic books to sell towards Austin's Service Dog.  We have amazing friends and family that God has blessed us with...we like to call you all Austin's Autism Angels!  Thank you so much and we will keep posting and keep you informed please keep sharing our link!

Holly

Hi Everyone,

This a blog about our journey with our son Austin.  He was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome back in 2006 at the age of 7.  Asperger's Syndrome is a form of Autism.  Not knowing what Asperger's was we bought many books and researched online and were stunned to learn that in the beginning the resources for us were limited.  We had no idea at the time how much this would impact our lives.  If I could wish for anything back then it would have been a how to manual for parents on what to do for him and our family.  We also did not realize or understand why insurance companies do not cover many of the recommended therapies for Austin ie. Occupational Therapy or Psychiatrist that specialize in this field. 

Austin continually struggles with sensory issues, social cues, ADD, Anxiety and now we know he has a learning disorder.  All of these combined make for a very difficult time for Austin in school and other activities.  I pulled Austin from the public school system when he was in 3rd grade and home schooled him until he entered 6th grade last year.  He is now back in public school and struggling yet again. 

Last year I discovered an awesome opportunity.  Did you know that there are service dogs specifically trained to help kids with Autism?  Well there are.  At Autism Service Dogs of America in Oregon they train these loving dogs to help keep kids safe, secure and help them calm down if they are upset.  We applied this last summer and were approved!!!  Yes!  While this is very exciting this journey is just beginning.  In order to pay for the training of the dog, travel fees, costs for me to go get trained as a handler for a week, and for the trainer to come to our home and work with our whole family for a week we need to raise a minimum of $15,500.  This sounds overwhelming but there are over 70,000 people in the city we live in Auburn WA alone, if one quarter of those would donate just a dollar we would already be at our goal!  Every dollar helps.  So we are holding a Dollar Drive.  You can donate easily by clicking on the donate button.  Also please stop by and "like" our page on facebook Austin's Autism Service Dog Dollar Drive. 

Please help us give our son a miracle, the ability for security and Independence.  Thank you.

Holly